I’ve been through a lot of messed up shit in my lifetime, and I’m trying like hell to recover and function as normally as can be expected. I’m just in a rut right now that feels too deep to get out of I know it’ll be okay and I need to keep moving forward. It’s just driving me crazy and I need to get it off my chest.

Right now I’m trying to get over being tense 24/7. I’m always braced for impact and it takes a toll on all my relationships. I also struggle accepting gifts. I always feel like whoever gave the gift is going to come back and take it back and essentially rip the rug from under me. I don’t allow myself to get attached to gifts and thus usually buy the things I want myself. Making it to where there really isn’t much a person can give me gift wise.

So yeah those are my two big struggles right now. Both are so frustrating and the mental tug of war I play daily is exhausting. But I’m going to keep up the good fight and eventually come out victorious!