What would you do?

Question

My fiancé and I are engaged to be married and we’ve started planning the wedding, problem is.. my dad is in poor health, he says he’s fine and to not worry but he has so many health problems that worry me and make me question how long he will be here. I will forever regret if he is not there for my wedding. This is my first wedding my fiancé’s second. I want the wedding every girl has always dreamed of but we just don’t have the money. We have about $2k saved right now. I want to move the wedding up so my dad will be here but we can’t afford a decent wedding. I have priced some things out and going cheap it would still be about 5-6k. What should I do to find a happy medium between bumping the wedding up for my dad and having a wedding?

Accepted Answer

Where's the controversy? 
Move it up, prioritize, and DIY. Weddings absolutely do NOT need to costs thousands of dollars.

Answer

I would have a crappy wedding any day if there was a chance my dad wouldn't make it for a bigger wedding. It should be a no brainer.

Answer

I don’t think there will be a happy medium. You just have to pick what’s more important; a more costly wedding or having this memory with your dad?

Answer

Can you find a place that offers a package deal - venue, meal, officiant, bouquet, cake, etc? My husband and I did something like that at a place near us and with clothing and everything, I think it all came to about $2500. We could have saved on the photographer since the pictures were pretty bad. We gave our kids (my husband's children, my stepchildren) cameras that day as a wedding gift and used the pictures they took for our album instead. 🙂 We also kept the guest list very small. My parents and my husband's dad were the guests and the kids stood up with us.
Another option is a backyard wedding with a barbeque/potluck. That's a very cost effective option. You can rent chalets at parks for pretty decent prices too, if you don't want to get married in your backyard. You could also get married at the courthouse with your dad present so he can see you get married and then have a bigger reception later.
Money can be saved by buying your dress at a resale store. There are some charities that sell secondhand dresses for really good prices and the money is used for very good purposes. Our daughter got her dress at a store like that and she looked beautiful when she got married this summer. You can also save by making your own bouquet. My husband bought a bunch of roses and some ladies from our church made my bouquet and all the boutonnieres and corsages. It saved a ton of money. Bouquets can be very expensive.
I really hope you can find a way to plan your wedding so your dad can be there. It would be so special for both of you. ♥️

Answer

Find a local park or nice area you can hold a ceremony, have a friend marry you or hire someone cheap, then spend most of the money on the reception. No one likes the ceremony aspect of weddings anyways, it's the dancing and eating people look forward to. Go to your local Sam's club or costco or whatever you have and see if they have deals if you buy items by the case, etc. My wedding cake was from a grocery store lol. I got married in the courthouse and just had a reception at my moms house(hers was bigger) and it was fun. No regrets. We took the money we saved and went on a cruise.

Answer

2k should be pretty ample to have a nice wedding if you actually try and are creative about it. DIY stuff, cut some unnecessary things out, and prioritize. 
Don't put a flashy wedding over having your dad there, that'd be pretty screwed up. 
If you REALLY want to blow thousands and thousands on a wedding, have a vow renewal at 5/10/15 years and go crazy with it then. 
Right now, some things are more important than others. Pick which is more important to you

Answer

Move it up and make cuts. How many guests do you need to invite

Answer

First and foremost Congrats!
My dad passed away 6 weeks before our wedding. We were in a different situation. We were asked to wait on an engagement because other siblings were proposing and getting married and having babies. We were together the longest for 5 years at the time. We planned a wedding 365 days to the day my husband proposed. 
My family had lots of remorse although never directly apologizing for our wait. It was a really sad time. We had this elaborate wedding coming up and there I was taking care of my daddy then planning his funeral. It was absolutely chaos.
Cost of funerals are way more expensive then weddings. So there I was trying to figure that out as well as how to pay his mortgage as well. It was absolutely terrifying. The emotional tole was unbearable then the legal and financial was way more then I anticipated.
I don't say this to scare you but I believe we would have done things our way from the beginning. I think you should ask your dad what he would like and ask family what they could help with.
I really don't ever want any bride to go through what I did.
Best wishes.

Answer

My sister rented a place on the beach, it was only immediate family so there were only 12 of us there including the bride and groom. We all chipped in to decorate and cook. It was beautiful and special and it didn’t end up costing very much, she spent most of her budget on a mice honeymoon. You wedding, despite what people say, is not the most important day of your life and you don’t need to spend thousands of dollars for it to be special. Wedding are
Supposed to be about starting your life with the one you love and celebrating with the people who are most important to you. I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if I prioritized making my wedding special and someone that close to me passed away before they could see it, but that’s just me.

Answer

What’s more important to you?  Your dad or having that perfect over the top ceremony.  Seems like an easy decision for me 🤷🏼‍♀️. I didn’t have the big fancy wedding, and I’m the only grandchild my grandmother saw married, because we chose to have it earlier than we would have had we had to find something expensive.

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