Since I apparently can't edit the post or reply anonymously I had to answer here. I knew people would ignore the actual question and jump to what I should or should not do so Idk why I bothered asking them not to. That being said I'm not mad about it. Most of the answers actually felt like concern and support and not being dicks so I appreciate it. I am also concerned if I let him do it it wouldn't be a one time thing. He's made it clear if I say no then that is that and he'll drop it. I don't think he'll sneak around and do it anyway. I told him I haven't decide but if I do allow it and he asks again later I will leave him. I don't agree that one last time is impossible though. When I was in recovery I went through something similar and did it. It honestly sucked and I never did it again so it is possible. I think being forced to sit by himself and not do anything fun will make him see getting high just to get high isn't worth it, but I'm still very iffy on the whole idea. Like I said my concern is more it getting in my system some how than anything. He wouldn't be allowed to do it in the house because of second hand smoke, and would have to shower and change clothes before coming near me at all. I just don't know if it would be in bodily fluids at all. I've tried to research it and it seems very 50-50 on the answer.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell him no, but that's not really the point of the question. We've both agreed if he ever does it after the baby is born he'll be out of both our lives before he knows what hits him. So he wasn't "using the baby" as a reason, he just knew there is zero chance later. It only came up because he's been offered it at work several times now. It may seem like his sobriety isn't important to him to an outsider, but unless you've been addicted yourself I doubt you can understand the feeling. I know I never want to do it again, but it's still hard to say no when ppl offer. Not impossible, but hard.

But anyway thanks for the concern. It has pushed me more towards the sorry but not a chance as an answer. Hopefully he responds the way he claims he will and just drops the idea .