Heartbroken over this

Sa

All together in life iv sufferd 5 miscarriages well I say miscarriages they were called chemical pregnancies because I would loose at bang on 6 weeks all the time after 4 losses I was told to take baby aspirin and I got my girl 😍 shesnow 2 I had the same happen to me last month another chemical and today I’ve found out I was pregnant I give up on the though of another baby now I’m so confused I can’t get excited and I’m just waiting to loose this one again the test isant dark at all very very faint I’m 11dpo today and it’s very faint I’m having implanting pains and iv put myself on aspirin today but has anybody else had test like this I done a cheap boots own brand and it was negative and done a first response 6 day early and go this you can literally hardly see it which has me thinking another chemical and now no have to sit and wait for it to happen 😪