Need a mental pick-me-up

My husband and I have been trying for years now. And every month I get slightly hopeful, then think of myself as being so foolish for getting hopeful over every little sign that may be pregnancy and not just AF looming... This month has been full of symptoms for the past 2ww. It's so frustrating, now I'm due on tomorrow, took a test today that said 'not pregnant'... Feels like I wasted another test.

We went to see the fertility specialist last year, nothing wrong with hubby. I had a lap and dye, they couldn't find anything wrong with me... Just said 'sorry, we have to call you infertile without known reason'. Which to me indicates that there should be a chance. According to tests I ovulate every month (and regular cycle supports that), and after the surgery last year, I have no blockages stopping my eggs from travelling.

So what gives? Every month I feel so down when AF comes to visit. I speak occasionally to my best friends about it, and they're always surprised that I track and monitor everything so closely, and perhaps the stress of that is a problem (when you've been told you need to by medical professionals, and it's so easy to... Of course I'm going to track! There's no benefit not to!)

We have had discussions about starting the adoption process in a couple of years time (give us a bit more time to conceive our own first and focus on improving our career paths and continuing saving too). But my mother has expressed preference for adoption since my being pregnant would be 'so stressful for her' physically I'm fit, fine and well, and there's no obvious reason why I haven't yet gotten pregnant. Let alone it apparently might cause stress to others if I'm ever lucky enough to have it happen to me.

I don't know if she thinks she's helping, but all I want is to know what it's like to have a baby and see myself and my husband in a living person. I don't expect those around me to understand 100%, but I do grow tired of the lack of empathy sometimes.

I'm just posting my feelings on here, because I crash emotionally every month when AF visits and I would just like to hear from some others who are in similar situations and really understand.

Thanks ladies 🦄