AITA for backing out of the bachelorette party?

Hi everyone! My first post! TL;DR at bottom.

For background, I am a 22 year old grad student living in a big city. I also have a new full-time job that I start tomorrow. My friend who is engaged (let’s call her...Jill) got engaged right out of college and is set to get married in June. All of her bridesmaids are around the same ages, and we are all fresh out of college, some of us go to grad school, some work, and one girl is in a traveling theater production. We live all over the place.

Jill originally wanted to do a cruise for her bachelorette party, but I think her mom talked her out of it because it would be way too expensive for girls our age to afford to take over a week off school/work and pay for all that. So she somehow came up with going to Charleston.

Her maid of honor has been rung through with trying to figure out a time that’s best for everybody. Everyone’s schedules are crazy, and Jill’s mom and her mom’s friend decided they wanted to come to the bachelorette party, too. I talked to the maid of honor in early December and was told the airbnb would be less than $200, but she said we would have to participate in a lingerie “exchange” where we buy Jill lingerie, and Jill wants us to get matching dresses for a night out AND pay for a nice dinner during the weekend. It sounded dumb to me, but not that bad. I just told the maid of honor that if it coincided with school and work then I couldn’t go. I told her that mid-May would be the best for me because my internship and classes would be over. She told me Jill’s mom and mom’s friend couldn’t do May, so she would let me know later what weekend they pick. I also expressed that I am not really in a great financial place so I can’t be spending money like crazy...

The maid of honor picked the weekend of April 17 for three days in Charleston. The weekend before my last week of classes, aka cutting it dangerously close to my final exams. She also asked us if February 14 was a good day to get all of the money to her so she can book the airbnb. Here’s where I think I’m in the wrong: I agreed just so Jill would leave me alone about getting an answer to her maid of honor ASAP. I wasn’t 100% sure of my schedule at the time but I didn’t say anything and said it was ok.

Today, I woke up to a text from the maid of honor. Between 9 people, the airbnb would be $300 per person! Jill’s mom and Jill’s mom’s friend demanded their own bedrooms, and Jill demanded that the house have a pool. I was put over the edge and sent them both a message saying I most likely won’t be able to make it just because of the timing and the finances of it all will be too much. I can’t take off time from work, and if I skip class I could fail. (When I signed up for classes and told Jill I would be having a Thursday night class, she said “Well what about my bachelorette party?”) I would have to buy a plane ticket either Friday night or Saturday morning to Charleston and fly back on Sunday because ... I can’t miss work. That’s just way way way out of my budget right now.

I had no response for a while so I sent another message apologizing and saying I wish I could go but I can’t swing it. Jill said she is hurt and disappointed, and won’t talk to me. Jill’s mom texted me and said I need to call her to talk but to give her some space right now. Jill has also been tweeting all day about how she’s crying.

I don’t know whether or not I’m the only one who has said something about not being able to afford time or money to this over the top bachelorette party. But I feel guilty because I let my friend down. My priorities just aren’t in a bachelorette party, and in my opinion if you’re going to get married young and have young friends in the bridal party, you have to sacrifice some things that the majority of us just cannot afford.

SO...AITA?

TL;DR I’m bailing on a destination bachelorette party that’s been in the works for over a year because I can’t afford to sacrifice time between full time work and full time graduate school and my wallet isn’t big enough to satisfy bride’s wishes.