Story of my abusive ex

So I’m mainly writing this to just get everything down for my own benefit. But if anyone can learn anything from this, then I suppose that’s good too. It’s the first time I’m telling this story to anyone other than my family and best friend.

So my boyfriend of four years had been suicidal, abusive, narcissistic, pretty much everything besides physically. I tried to break up with him a year after we started dating, but I couldn’t because he would threaten to kill himself. My family knew I was dating, but I never told them I wanted out and I was scared, because I was embarrassed to be in the situation. It was like a full time job dealing with this man, I was in nursing school and could not focus or succeed with that drama and pain. The threats and threats of suicide got worse and worse. Finally I got to the point where I realized if I was away from this man, I’d be able to finish school, have a good life for myself, but also have the opportunity to help so many more people through healthcare. It became more than just about me, I had a purpose for others and I wanted to do it. So I broke up with him. Knowing that he would most likely try to kill him self, I immediately called his family, made them aware of the situation, and told them to check on him or call 911. Then I cut all contact with him, blocked him on everything. Two days later, i took my dog for a walk. There is a wooded area near my house that my dog loves to sniff near, so that’s where I was. It was sixpm (which is dark for this time of year). Suddenly he shows up, and I freaked out. He says that if I don’t be with him, he will make my life a living hell, he threatens to kill my family if I don’t be with him, he threatened to haunt me forever if I don’t be with him. In that moment, I was literally ambushed, I was scared, so I said yes just for him to get out of my neighborhood and leave me alone. After that I told my family EVERYTHING which was the hardest thing for me to do. I cried, they cried, I thought they would be ashamed of me

For letting him take advantage of me, but they told me they wouldn’t leave my side, that they would fight him with me. This just made me cry more. I told my family I was going to send him a single text that said “it’s over forever, deals off.” After I did that I went back to blocking him on everything. After that, we called the police. I had an officer come by the house, and he just sat there with me, listened to me cry and listened to my story. I thank god every day that he put that specific officer in my life, he had a big heart and he had it his priority in his job to protect me. I told the officer that my ex WOULD come back. The officer told me they didnt have enough to arrest him or anything, but he gave me several numbers to call for him and some other officers who where very local. Sure enough he came back. Showed up at my house. The police ambushed him at my house, and y’all ive never seen him so scared. The officers said he said something along the lines of “I wasn’t really

Gonna hurt anyone I just wanted her to be with me.” They put the report on his record, still not enough though. I didn’t want to do a restraining order until I knew 100% that it would be granted, because if it wasn’t, he would see it as a challenge. So I waited. A couple days later, I get an email from a strange unknown email address, saying that my ex killed himself. And it was my fault. Apparently it was from his “best friend.” I cried all night, although he was crazy and abusive, I knew him for years and years and wanted him to get the chance to get help. Several days after that I get more emails from a different address saying that his best friend lied about my ex killing himself and he just wanted to see me hurt, because he was mad at me for leaving his friend. A couple weeks after this, I got another email from my ex’s parents, saying that my ex shot himself, was admitted to the hospital and was in a coma. Apparently he was calling my name the whole time. I really wasn’t sure what to believe at this point, so I took this info with a grain of salt and tried to focus on other things. My whole family said he was most likely lying. A month later, from the same email, apparently my ex “woke up.” And could not remember anything, so he thought it was still 2018 and we where still together. At this point I’m just thinking LOL well that’s convenient isn’t it? I stood my ground, if he shows up again saying some bs like we are still together, I’m calling the police again and that will be another report added to the case against him. Sure enough he shows up at my house again ringing the doorbell, he left flowers and a note that said something like “I can’t believe we are not together anymore, my family told me not to come right after I got out of the hospital but I didn’t believe it.” I took pictures of the note and flowers, put it in a baggy, and reported it. I’m getting smarter and less stupid at this point. Yay. This same day, he tries to add me on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, with a fake account. He did the same thing with my best friend and family. All of them set all their accounts to private and blocked him. Every single one of my accounts is private and doesn’t accept messages from unknown people. He even drove to my job that day and asked for my phone number from a boss, who refused to give it to him. This happened two months ago, but this whole thing happened throughout about five months after I initially broke up with him. Currently he has 10000% zero way to contact me. I am just so extremely shocked that someone I thought cared about me, would threaten me with fake suicide, pretend me was dead, pretend he was someone else ( his friend, his family) I believe he was the only one I was in contact with. He threatened me, threatened my family, and tried to pull at my humanitarian side by trying to get me to feel sorry for him. I honestly don’t know what kind of person could be capable of such things, but i am so thankful I am free of him, that I am safe. I am thankful for the police officer that still comes by my house to check on me. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my career and the chance to help others. It’s like sometimes life feels normal and I forget all this happened and it’s like it doesn’t even register I’m my head that this even happened, its just so weird and crazy and scary. Im glad I finally learned and learned how to recognize lies. I had PTSD from all this, I will be looking into talking to a professional about this all at some point. But for now I just wanted to write down my thoughts, and if you have read this far, your a saint. Thank you and stay safe eve