Anyone else ?

Hey so I had a chemical in may 2018 and may 2019 I’m now just over 8 weeks pregnant and seen babys heart at 6+1 and again at 7+2... my question is... is it normal for me not to be excited ? I’m so scared of missed miscarriage ? I’ve seen the heartbeat but it’s possible for it to stop I’m constantly thinking I’m gonna loose this baby!! Is it just because of previous losses or is it my gut telling me not to get to close ? I’m constantly scared checking my symptoms checking for bleeding I can’t have a conversation regarding the baby because I don’t want to jinx myself 😩 is it just the previous losses making me afraid to get attached to this little one!