I can’t take it listening to her whine about this girl anymore 🙄😭

Mostly just a rant but if anyone has advice that would be much appreciated lol.

My friend (let’s call her Sara) is in a 5-year-long relationship with a woman (let’s call her Anna) (they are both women). They have been long distancing from the very beginning, however as of the past 2ish years, they are now also in separate countries and different time zones, making things even more difficult. However, Anna is returning to the country in August (8 months from now) and they are planning to actually move in together then. Sara keeps saying she wants them to live together first, but she plans on proposing probably around 6 months after.

Ok, cool, right? WELL. So Sara has met this other woman at work (let’s call her Courtney) and quickly developed a HUGE crush on her. So this saga began with Sara texting me relentlessly about Courtney and about how she likes her so much, sending me screenshots of their conversations with “do you think she likes me too?!” And I’m like look, this would be fine, but what about Anna?! She tells me she still loves Anna and still plans to move in together and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Anna. I tell her (nicely) that she needs to make up her mind. If she loves Anna so much, she needs to let Courtney go. If she can’t let Courtney go, then she needs to break up with Anna.

So after literally months of this, Sara tells Anna what’s going on. And apparently, Anna’s reaction was to just laugh and be like “oh don’t stress hun it’s just a crush!” So like, Anna technically knows about this, but I also can’t imagine Sara told her the extent of how obsessed she is with it...

Then Sara finally confesses her feelings to Courtney, and Courtney informs her that she’s straight. So like, it’s not even a possibility for them to be together. Then Sara’s the whining evolves to “oh no, now Courtney avoiding me at work, what do I do?!” I’m like look, just let her avoid you, whatever, probably for the best for you anyway... but Sara just will NOT let it go. “Courtney is my friend, I miss her! But I still love Anna! I don’t know what to do!”

She then goes on to say that Courtney is “toxic” for her and that she needs to avoid her. Thank god. A week later she says they’re on a business trip and they got drunk together and “I went back to her hotel room and something bad almost happened but it didn’t.” (Not sure what “almost happened” means....... also, this woman is still straight......) At this point it just seems like she’s begging for drama, and begging ME to react to her.

It has now been almost a YEAR since this started. I’m not exaggerating. And now Sara texts me yesterday with “hey, if someone texted you ‘yay finally we get to have coffee and catch up!’ What would you make of that?” I’m like....... god, this better not be about Courtney....... of course, it is. She just will not let it go. She is analyzing texts like a middle schooler (she’s 26 years old, btw). She will not stop updating me with every single interaction they have. She tells me now after the coffee today that “it was nice to catch up.” I asked if she still feels like Courtney is toxic for her, and she goes “.......no comment.” I almost feel like she just wants me to lecture her so she can feel like she’s creating drama or rebelling or something.

Also, she just visited Anna last month, and still plans to move in with her in 8 months and then propose.

I don’t know what she wants from me. I have given her all the advice I have and she just doesn’t want to hear it. Somehow EVERY conversation we have ends up going back to Courtney and I just can’t take it! I don’t know how to be her friend anymore 😫