My hormones!

Kirsten

So I might have done something bad.

Little back story...

Me and my baby’s father have been together on and off but mainly on for 4 years. Over this past summer we decided that we wanted to start a family. But ever since we found out we were pregnant in August we have done nothing but fight. It’s been so stressful.

Fast forward to this week,

I have been going back and forth about me and him breaking up. And idk if it was the hormones or if me talking to my parents, but we broke up yesterday and my dad came and move me out. I had time to sleep on it (or lack there of sleep) and I don’t want a broken family.

I couldn’t suck it up and just deal with it. I literally packed everything up and left. I could see this week he was trying to change and I just left. I’m the shitty person in the world. And I know I hurt him bad and I will forever regret that. I love this man to death and I know he loves me and he was genuinely really fucking excited to be a dad and I just threw it all away.

Why can’t there be a handbook for pregnancy and the hormones that come with it? Why couldn’t someone just slap me and say “stop it. Realize things will change, you just got to get through this rough patch” every time things get rough I bail and I don’t think he can forgive me this time and I don’t expect him too.

We talked this morning but he just sounded so hurt that it broke my heart even more and now I can’t stop crying.

My parents are trying to say I did a good thing leaving him but I didn’t. They say he was holding me back but he wasn’t. I hold myself back and have been doing it for years. He is a good man who doesn’t deserve someone like me.