I have two BEAUTIFUL children. A boy, almost 5 and a girl, almost 2. They’re our world. In March I had a miscarriage. (I’m going to sound cold here) it was a lot easier to take because there was no baby developing. It was just a sac. Nothing grew. Blighted ovum. We moved on, and decided to try again about 4 months later. I got pregnant in November. I went to the doctor today, I was supposed to be 11 weeks 4 days. Instead. My baby measured 9 weeks 4 days without a heartbeat. I should mention we had heard the heartbeat two times already via ultrasound so we didn’t think there was anything to worry about. Today absolutely crushed me. There was my baby. But no heartbeat. Nothing. Just my baby on the screen. I am absolutely devastated and I want answers. My doctor was amazing and did a d&c today. I was bleeding and cramping and he wanted to get it done so that I could concentrate on my babies and my husband and I could begin to heal. I don’t know when I want to try again. I don’t understand this. I had two amazing kids basically by just looking at my husband and saying the word baby. And now within about 10 months I’ve had two miscarriage and I can’t understand why. I’m an absolute wreck. And I’m not okay. We just explained to our 5 year old what happened and he’s very upset and I think he understands. My 2 year old came up to me out of the blue gave me a hug and said love you!

I’m not okay. I just needed to vent. 😭😭