I really don’t need the judgement. I already know I’m a dumbass and just need to vent.

I was calling it a mistake, but a mistake only happens once. I actively made the stupid decision to have unprotected sex knowing the consequences, and with more than one guy.

Now I’m joining the 3 under 3 club. I’m sad, I’m mad at myself, and then the subconscious excitement of a new baby. I’m not scared to take care of them by myself. I already pretty much do it with my first two. But their dad and I were working things out and I completely destroyed that by getting pregnant by someone else (I didn’t cheat either). Because, understandably, he doesn’t want the responsibility of another man’s baby.

Luckily, one of the men almost certainly can’t have kids. But he hasn’t been tested so it’s not positive. I’m pretty sure it’s the other guy’s anyway. But he won’t even speak to me let alone talk about doing a paternity test.

And that’s why I’m pissed. This ruined my relationship and changed my life but for him it’s as easy as not texting me. Everything is fine for him. I’m not even asking him for anything, I just want to know who the father of my kid is.

And then I’m mad at myself for bringing a child into this situation. This poor kid who won’t have a dad. Even if I’m the best mom I can be, that will still affect them. Especially watching their brothers have a dad that cares about them. I hate thinking about how that will affect my child.

I’m open to advice but I really just needed to vent. I’m already beating myself up over this so please don’t add to it. I’m an idiot. I know.