I'm heartbroken. I can literally feel my heart breaking. Shes 18, I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and I was 6 years old. Shes been my only constant for 18 years. Moving, breakups, broken homes, a marriage and a divorce. I'm terrified to lose her but I know its coming.

The vet said she more than likely has dementia. Shes still my baby but sometimes shes..different. she wanders and stares at walls. Sometimes shes distant and other times she wants to be near me. I've noticed in the last week shes losing control of her back legs. Every now and then she falls over a little or just cant stand anymore. I had to pick her up out of the litterbox this morning because she was just laying there confused. Shes had hyperthyroidism since she was 13 and outlived her expectancies for that. She has kidney disease and a heart murmur from age.

I've always planned to have her cremated and know where I would like to have it done.

I'm afraid I may have to start looking at options. I know cats just hang on for so long and I dont want her suffering because i want to be selfish and keep my baby a little longer.

When is it appropriate to start looking at options? I dont want to feel like I did it too soon and have regrets. I'm still hoping she'll get better but I know once they start losing control there isn't really anything to come back from. I'm also tired of giving her the pills for her thyroid because its scaring her (from the dementia) and she fights against me. I dont want to hurt her, I feel like its torturing her.

Please be gentle with your responses I'm a wreck right now. I haven't talked with the vet yet but will be soon. She was due for a thyroid level check and I'm just trying to wrap my head around everything

Today, January 27th, I laid my baby to rest. She went peacefully and i was there with her to the end. I took her to a funeral home that also specializes in pet cremations and will have her little urn with me in about a week. So often we take our pets for granted. But tonight I'm realizing I'll never hear her sweet purr again. My whole life shes been here, I dont know how to live without her. Hug your fur babies tonight for me. My little girl is gone from this earth and I dont think I'll ever be the same. 18 years of wonderful memories, stinky litterboxes and tuna kisses. I'll never forget any of them and I'm so grateful to have had the time that I had with her. My feisty, vibrant little girl, mommy misses you more than you know. I would give anything to hold you in my arms again, but I will hold you in my heart forever. I hope you knew I was there with you at the end and I hope you know that I will love you always.