Haven’t had my first time yet and I’m anxious about it


I am 19 years old and I am a virgin. I didn’t mind it that much till now, but now I’m in college and it feels....weird. I am an extremely self concious person and feel weird anytime I remember other people have opinions about me- so whenever I imagine being that open to someone, I find the idea very repulsive. I am sexually attracted to people but find it hard to let myself go. ((Even with my first kisses I always stopped midway to apologize for being/kissing weirdly)). I know I am gonna be super awkward if I try to have sex with someone, but I also know the more I wait the more awkward my lack of experience gonna be ://///

Thank you