Some background: I fell at 24 weeks, hitting my stomach on the side of the bed. Went to the ER where they monitored baby and did an ultrasound, everything was fine. Went into the ER for bleeding at 29 weeks, found nothing to be wrong, sent me home. My water broke prematurely at 30 weeks. They thought we would have the baby within 48hrs. When she didn’t come, they said 7 days. She still didn’t come 😂 3 weeks in the hospital later and the perinatologist says my amniotic sac must have resealed. They recommended an amniocentesis to inject dye into the fluid and insert a tampon. They checked the tampon every hour for 4 hours and I hadn’t leaked, so they sent me home on bed rest and pelvic rest.

Okay, now we are at around 33 weeks. I have an appointment on January 9th where my doctor takes me off bed and pelvic rest and tells me to return to normal. We have our baby shower on January 11th, just 2 days shy of 34 weeks. I go through the whole day just fine.. now I’m laying in bed getting ready to sleep (it’s around midnight) and feel liquid. I’m thinking I peed on myself so I go casually to the bathroom.. I’m bleeding again! (It is important to note that although being off pelvic rest, my husband and I did not have intercourse.. so that was not possibly the cause of any bleeding) So I get my husband and we go to the ER.. again. Nothing. Baby looks great on the NST I am not dilating.. I was having contractions but nothing major at all.

So now, I go back to my doctor at 35 weeks and 1 day. She puts me back on bed rest and pelvic rest and now requires 2 NST’s and 1 full ultrasound weekly for the remainder of my pregnancy. She says she thinks I’m having a minor placental abruption, but they can’t see it in any scans. She can’t think of any other reason for why I keep bleeding.. I’m so scared for something to go wrong with my little one and I miss the signs.. I’m so anxious every single day. I’ve been told to make sure she moves 6 times an hour.. to go into the ER if she doesn’t move within an hour, if I bleed at all, if I’m contracting, if I have any uterine pain or tenderness. It’s so stressful! I watch everything with my body like a hawk! I’m not enjoying my pregnancy anymore,. I am terrified. I’m literally a walking anxiety diagnosis.

I didn’t post this to ask a question or anything.. just wanted to get it off my chest. I have my first NST and ultrasound tomorrow and I’m grateful they are watching her so close.. but I just want to relax with my little one and know she’s okay. However, I will continue to do this because I am so grateful to be in this position. She is our rainbow baby after 3 years of TTC followed by a miscarriage. I am GRATEFUL.. please don’t get me wrong. I’m just scared and stressed.