TOXIC !!! REALTIONSHIP !?? HELP

Jessica

Hi ladies I need an advice I feel super stuck !!! First of I met my bf 5 years ago at my job we’re he was earning 9hr and I was 15hr ( you’ll see my point further why I’m mentioning this ) I was only 21 ( now26) had recently turned , he was 26 ( now 31yrs) I’ve always wanted a bf that could have a great job and be dependent so I encourage him to become a cop but failed the test and now encourage him to get his CDL and makes a good amount of money now , while trying to get better and earn better I toke care of the apartment bills for almost 8 months (1,300 per month ) after he got back on his feet he’s always now taken care of the rent even though I offered to help his always wanted me to stay at home cook and work from home I did so... but i didn’t notice one year in a half from our realtion ship that he would drink everyday behind my back and I didn’t like it but I still managed , I stoped talking to all of my friends including my familiy bc he would say I needed to let go of them since I should now dedicate my time and attention to him and so I did up until I started thinking it essentially fair bc what if something happened to my parents I would feel miserable for listing to him , he didn’t like the fact I would go to my parents and visit them but that changed he realized he was wrong .... not to mentioned he broke a fist fight with my father... I forgave him ... I also now didn’t find it fair that he prohibits me now to speak or go out with my only friend I have witch he hates her ... it’s been a battle between both of them ... I change the way I used to dress bc he didn’t like it , I stoped being out going bc he though speaking with strangers wasent right , I stoped everything ... but yet again he was alowwed to drink everybody day not to mention he’d hang out with his cousin when he pleased so I decided to do the same ! Go out with my friend ... short story now he claims he’s the boss bc he pays for everything and wants me out of the apartment theirs no respect since I went out with my friend he thinks I’m over here having affairs with men... I’ve lied to him bc he makes me !! If I say the truth he still gets upset and stops talking to me for 4 weeks to a month and even restrains me from sex , and if I lie it just gets worse .... I don’t know what to do I’m tired ... it hurts my feelings .... his making everything hard on me just to leave , I am leaving but he always finds a way to make me feel guilty all the time ... he flips the cards on me so bad ... I’m self employed I work from home I make 4,000 a month , and I’m a student ,

and yes I can afford to leave but I love him I just need someone to advice me if I’m wrong .... yet again if I ask him to go out on a date or my parents invite us to go out of town or anything this is him “I’m tired don’t you see I work “ “ will see “ I gotta check my schedule “ I” I work unlike you “

I cook for him when i can wotch is 80 percent of the time !! His always bought me expensive stuff and always tried to olease me but in order for that I must stay at home and cook and be a good wife not to mention we don’t have kids we’ve been trying for almost 5 years .... I’m depressed at this money bc his became and turned into this monster I don’t know what to do ....