EDIT:

Some of you are seriously lacking empathy and it shows. Just because you have a good situation with your parents or in-laws doesn’t mean everyone does. I didn’t ask for people’s opinions on my feelings. I’m not overreacting or being unreasonable. I simply asked if other moms want to know where their child is when others watch them. Please reserve your judgements and unkind words, or take that shit elsewhere.

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Ergh. The saga continues. I have had several boundary crossing, shady ordeals with my MIL. She lies, manipulates, pretends she didn’t say or do things, all to get her way and to make it seem okay for her to not respect our boundaries...or really to act like our boundaries are unreasonable.

For a while I cut off contact. I was okay with her coming to our house and seeing her at family events but didn’t want my baby staying at her house without me. She pushed and pushed and played the guilt trip. Today I finally decided I would give it another go...my husband and I could use a break and I do want my baby to have a relationship with her grandma.

My girl is 18 months. We asked her to watch her at her house from 9-2pm. Around 11am I was out doing shopping and passed their house on the way to a store. I passed her driving by me! My MIL was out with my baby somewhere and I had no idea what was going on. So I texted and asked if that was her and what they were doing. She said they were visiting my husbands grandma at the elderly home. I simply said, “oh I didn’t know you were going anywhere”. And decided I’d call my husband and we would talk to her in person.

She walks through our door and tells us my husbands grandma called on her way back to her house and needed minutes added to her phone, so they just went. Which I honestly don’t believe. It’s more likely they went to have a visit. She has done this before. My husband tells her to let us know next time. She said, “I didn’t know”. What you didn’t know we want to know where our child is!? I tell her it really made me uncomfortable when I saw them driving, that it gives me anxiety thinking I don’t know where my child might be when I thought she was somewhere else. That they could get in a car accident or anything could happen and we wouldn’t know where they were.

She makes the most indignant face, along with an eye roll...as if I am crazy for thinking and feeling this way. And she wonders why I don’t trust her!

Do you ladies want people watching your children to ask you or even just let you know they will be somewhere other than where you expect them to be? I just don’t see how she thinks its okay to not ask or mention it to us.