I’m so hurt😞

I really don’t know where to begin I am beginning to develop self hate because my body is the total opposite from what it used to be I used to have reugular periods regular ovulation and I could get pregnant by the wrong person (my sons father) but I can’t get pregnant by my fiancé the best man in this universe in my opinion I had my first in 10 months but last period December 20th for 6 days it was a normal period so since we are TTC I made an effort to count my days and just not stress and I tested after my TWW was up but nothing ... then on the 18th of this month I took a digital opk got peak fertility so yes I was confused but happy so we BD then on the 20th my period didn’t show and I thought well this could either be I’m pregnant or we are back to having no period I looked on the clear blue site put in my last period and when I got the positive opk it said I could test today with a digital hpt so I did that FMU as well and I thought I’d have some luck because some of my dye tests seemed to me to have lines but that was nothing I guess if you got this far thank you for reading (if anyone is wondering why my periods are weird Idk why ... I had my first kid February 2019 I had the regular 6 week bleeding after that I didn’t get my first period until August it was normal then no period again until just this last one in December) I want another baby so bad I was meant to be a mom and watching my baby play by himself looks lonesome ❤️ digital from this morning

Yesterday morning

Few days ago not sure what day