My husband makes me feel like such a nuisance...I have really really really bad anxiety meaning that I’m an over thinker and I ask a lot of questions. He knows all of this...In the past, when we were dating he did cheat on me a lot...since we’ve been married he threatens to hang himself and says he’ll kill himself if I leave. I also have been raped twice in my childhood, and the other night, well...he shoved himself inside of me without my permission which caused me to rip and bleed. And if I ask him a question he gets super defensive. I just feel soooo overwhelmed...he makes me feel like I’m insane. Whenever I’m having an anxiety attack he gets pissed at me and tells me to stop. Ive tried civilly discussing all of this with him, it gets me nowhere. It’s like a broken record. Even tried reading the 5 love languages every night together, he didn’t pay attention. We talked about marriage counseling but we really can’t afford it right now...I’m just on my last straw...I love him so much but I’m miserable. (He’s also military as well, so we’re thousands of miles from our families and all of that..) to add: after I have brought all of my feelings to his attention he says he is depressed too and I hurt his feelings by not touching him enough and telling him I love him. He can be the sweetest thing which is why this is so confusing to me.