In a bit of a conundrum?

So a close family member of my boyfriend’s just passed away and he told me how he’d like for me to go with him to the funeral, as support and to meet his dad’s side of the family.

While I want to be there for him I also don’t think it’s ideal to meet his family for the first time at a funeral. And I’m kind of stuck because he sounds like he needs me and I really wanna be there for him but at the same time I don’t want to inconvenience anyone by being there. So should I stay? Should I go?? I’d really appreciate some advice 👍🏼

174 views • 2 upvotes • 7 comments

COMMENT (7)

El

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Go. He needs your support. And it gives a good impression

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Thank you for the helpful comments!It’s a 6 hour trip for me but I’ll be going to support my boyfriend! Thank y’all for y’all’s help!! 💛

F

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Being there to support him is the most important thing. If that’s what he needs. It’s maybe not the ideal situation to meet family for the first time, but actually the focus probably won’t be on you - if that helps take the pressure off?

CM

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Whenever I feel like I’m in a conundrum I try to think of the WANTS v’s NEEDS in the situation.In your case, your Boyfriend NEEDS you to be there for him which outweighs your WANTING to meet his family under different circumstances.It’s true that your Boyfriend also WANTS you to be there for him, but you don’t NEED to meet his family any other way in particular. I hope this helps 💕

Le

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I would definitely go. My boyfriend's mother passed away last November and I went with him. I already knew his immediate family but I met everyone else at the funeral such as uncle's, aunt's, cousins, Grandparents, etc. It was a little overwhelming but I'm glad I went because I knew how much he needed me

H

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This was how I pretty much met most of my man’s family the first time. I didn’t want it to be like that nor did he. But he needed me more than we needed the “perfect first meet”. It was awkward because 1. I’m just awkward and shy and 2. Funerals freeeeeak me out but I wouldn’t of changed anything. I was there for him and it definitely helped us grow closer!

To

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What do you think your parents will think of you when they find out you didn't go support him because you felt it was an inconvenient time to meet them? They'll respect you more for showing up for him than finding the more time to meet. I don't even understand how that's a question . Tbh its incredibly selfish to not be there when he needs you, especially because he TOLD you he needed you.