My depression starting to come back I’m back in Tharpy and I do like her she better then some of the ones I have seen... but I feel so moody everyone keeps telling me I’ll be fine and I’ll be ok... which Ik I’ll be okay but idk. I black out when I am like this I for get things I do through the whole thing, I tend to lash out and have issues with anyone who try’s to hug or love on me. I become a utter bitch and a pain in the ass to everyone around me...

almost 3 weeks ago I found of something(I really don’t wanna talk about it) I called off work bc I was crying and didn’t even want to get out of bed. Well they made me go in and I still feel sick to my stomach about it all it’s hard to sleep then when I do sleep I don’t want to get up, move or even do anything. Everything just becomes a big task. It’s been 3 weeks I should be over it all and I’m not and it’s making my life hard... I am missing work which now I can’t go back till I have talked to my supervisor.... and I have Tharpy Friday and talk to someone about meds that idk even if I want to be on them anymore.... so I am depressed, I self harm which my therapist knows about which we been working on me not doing longest was 11 months then shit hit the fan. But idk how to get out of this slump I don’t want to take meds but I feel like I might have to just to get out of this slop that’s feels like I keep hitting rock bottom