It's official, I can't be happy for pregnant women anymore. My favorite receptionist at my doctor's office recently told me she was pregnant. I faked a smile and told her congrats as any decent human would and as soon as I left the building, I turned to my friend and said, "Lucky her. She gets her baby. I bet it was so easy for her." I'm NOT a mean or vindictive person AT ALL. I was literally so upset that she was getting to have a baby, especially since I had just gotten yet another negative pregnancy test after puking for 3wks with a late period. I was crying all the way home and for hours. All I want is a baby to love and raise. All I kept thinking about was the 6 times my best friend has been pregnant since I've known her. I couldn't even muster my usual sadness for the fact that out of those 6 pregnancies, she's had one baby. I was just angry and despondent and jealous, because at least she CAN get pregnant. She just ends up losing her babies because she doesn't take any care of herself and does shit like smoke cigs and eat once a day. I'm sorry I'm just ranting and raving and I know it's my problem and my own insecurities making me jealous and bitchy over everyone else and their babies. I'm spiraling out of control, and it's only been 2yrs of trying. I can't imagine how bad this feeling is for people who have been trying longer. I feel like I'm gonna die barren and bitter and end up destroying my amazing relationship with my fiance out of sheer rage, like somehow it's his fault, when I'm the one with the broken uterus. Okay...rant over.