I'm gunna rant about ttc and I guess my jealousy?🤷🏽‍♀️

I'm sick of the girls around me/in my area who are hella young (14-16 years old) who are drug addicts, hoeing around, hate/dislike kids and they end up pregnant.

They complain about how theyll have to slow down on parting, doing their drugs or sleeping around cause of their baby. They complain about every symptom, pain, baby kick whatever.

When I wish for nothing more but the pain, morning sickness, baby kicks, constantly peeing ect when it comes to pregnancy.

My fiance and I have been ttc for 8-9 months now and nothing.

We do everything right; exercise, eat right, take vitamins, do the BD at the right time, chart everything. And still no baby.

But these girls get drunk, high or sleep with 3 different people and end up pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd baby without even trying. It it drives me nuts!!! Especially when half of their other kids are either taken away or being raised by grandparents who arent mobile enough for the children.

Whenever my fiance are out and about and we see pregnant women or just babies in general I get so jealous. I'm happy for the families I see and the growing babies. But I'm jealous it's not me yet.

I've wanted to be a mom since I was like 6. It's my dream. I feel like it's my one true purpose. And I havnt gotten it yet. I feel empty. I feel incomplete. I feel helpless.

I just want our rainbow baby.

And I know I shouldn't feel jealous and I'm working on it.

I just hate seeing people who do dangerous things in their life or who hate/dont take care of the kids they have, now have more kids. Just to repeat the cycle.

I just wish I could magically transfer these girls babies who they dont want/need/wont take care of into my own body and just carry them and love them. You know what I mean?