Am i a bad mother? 🥺

Question

So i really want honest options ... my baby is 5 months and i just turned 21 in November. My son is well taken care of and I’m with him 24/7 if not at work but sometimes i need some me time and wanna go to the club with my friends. My child is asleep by the time i leave i don’t go until like 11 so i really don’t see the big deal honestly but my baby daddy shamed me for it.. saying i just dump my kid off and what kind of mother would rather party etc. am i wrong for wanting a little fun in my life still?

Answer

I mean as long as it’s not every night? Idk I’m 22 and I got the partying stage out of my system high school. I married at 20 had my LO 4 months ago after trying for a year. I like to be home. I love being a mom and wife. We’ve had our rough patches I think we all do. 
My mother on the other hand had 3 kids by 22. Gave up her first 2 borns. Was an abusive relationship with my father. When they finally parted she partied almost every night and bring random dudes while I was in the next room. I’m not gonna go into details bc it’s crazy 
But if you’re working, spending time with your child, and go out once or twice a month I wouldn’t say you’re a bad mom? If it’s a weekly thing then idk that’s not something I would do but everyone’s free to do what they wish.

Answer

So I had my first daughter at 21 and I went through a stage of just wanting to go out all the time I would go out almost every weekend and I had the same mind set “well she’s sleeping so what’s the harm” well the harm was the whole next day I’d be hungover and she would lose out because of that. A lot has changed sense then now she’s 8 almost 9 and I wouldn’t spend a day away from her I regret so much going out that first year or her life all the time I missed so much even if it was just at night I was always to tired or irritable the next day to enjoy her, I have grown a lot sense then and now have a 5 month old and don’t leave him ever and I am pretty much always home being a mom and wife I haven’t been out in years obviously this is my choice and preference but my point here is that you may feel okay about the decision now but think about the long term and how you may feel it’s def okay to go out have fun a few times a month just don’t make it a every weekend thing like I did. Being a mom and watching our little ones grown is such a special time and a true blessing I’m sure you’re a great mom! Just wanted to share my experience with you.

Answer

No, one night of fun a weekend or two a month doesn’t make you a bad mom at all. We all need some me time at some point Have fun with your friends! My husband and I do a date night every weekend and I don’t think that makes us bad parents...if anything it makes us better parents.

Am i a bad mother? 🥺

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