What it’s like living with depression

I’m constantly sad. I’m constantly mad, at everyone and everything for no reason. I don’t know how I have friends or even a boyfriend who love me, I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m your average negative Nancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and these hormones are making me more miserable I swear, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m never happy, no matter what. Everytime I get happy, I think of something that immediately stops that and puts me down. I don’t deserve to be loved. My therapist gave up on me basically, I’ve tried every anti depressant in the world and nothing has worked. The only thing that makes me happy without tearing me down is thinking of holding this peanut. He’s my savior