I can’t ever tell my mom anything cause she gets so defensive for no reason.

I tried asking her why she was so unwelcoming to my boyfriend in the beginning. She goes off. Simple question. Then it’s just her and I yelling at each other.

She claims she didn’t know him but she met him when we went out to ihop so she knew what he looked like. She told me in high school that it’s respectful for a guy to come speak. One day we were going hiking so I called her to let her know we were on our way so I can get tennis shoes and a backpack with water. He wanted to come speak to her and she barricaded the door until he went back to the car. Like wtf?

His parents welcomed me into their home and I was a stranger to them. So imagine how embarrassing that is.

Fast forward to now my mom says stuff ,and when you call her on it she says she’s a grown woman and she doesn’t hold grudges(lies). I tried explaining his mom wasn’t coming to the first baby shower because she made my bf feel like he can’t have any involvement. So tried explaining everything and she goes off talking about how she’s not a bad mom (which no one but the ex husband, my father says).

There’s no healthy communication between us. If I cut her off my family will just follow her cause they don’t call her out on her bullshit.

Like I want to fix the relationship but it’s hard to do with her. I have to pray to god to help me because I just need someone to talk to so when I talk to god I feel better.