nobody tells you how lonely motherhood is, especially young motherhood.

i am 17, and im a mother, and thats all i am. i am no longer allowed to be a teenager, i am a mother. i am no longer allowed to have feelings, be upset, have emotions, i am a mother. i am no longer allowed to go out, have some fun, i am a mother. that has been drilled into my head since the day i found out i was pregnant. i am a mother, and thats all i am.

im sitting in my room at 1 in the morning, my beautiful daughter sleeping beside my bed and the tears just keep flowing like a waterfall, so many tears i could fill the whole room. i haven’t ate in 2 days, i haven’t showered in a week, i have throw up on my shirt, the shirt ive been wearing the past 3 days in a row. i have overdue assignments in school that i need to finish because i have to graduate but im just so tired because i haven’t slept, i barely sleep, maybe 3 hours a night if im lucky. they say “ sleep when the baby sleeps “ but then how am i supposed to get the laundry done, clean the bottles, put away the clothes, and do school. i try to do all these things while she is awake but then shes crying, her gums hurt, shes hungry, she needs a diaper changed, she wants to be help, she wants to be rocked and i need to do it because i am the mother. i get no breaks. 184 days, 184 days and she hasn’t left my side. she is 6 months old, and she has been with me every second of every day. do not get me wrong, i love my daughter more than anything, but sometimes i miss my old life. sometimes i wish i could have a break. even if i did have a break, i would have nobody to go out and have fun with because i have nobody. no friends, nothing. sure, they came around the first 2 months a few times to see her, but now im lucky if i get a text at least once every few months to see how we are doing. teenage pregnancy is so glorified on the shows, but it isn’t anything like that. i see so many teenager on here who are trying to get pregnant and all i have to say is please rethink your choice because then you will become the mother, and thats all you will be.

EDIT:

Thank you to all the women who gave me advice and said the sweetest things, i appreciate it so much. Unfortunately i do not have much family who live near us. My mom travels a bunch for work, i do not have a dad and mostly all my family lives at least 1+ hours away. My daughters father passed away from a car accident when she was 2 weeks old.

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To those who said i had a choice to become a mother, yes i know. my pregnancy wasn’t planned, we used a condom and it was the first time i ever had sex, i didn’t think i would get pregnant, but i did. I love my daughter to death but it gets hard.