Hi, I know it’s wrong, but I feel like there is nothing I can do about it and I clearly need help.

I only want to have sex when there’s a chance we could make a baby. Like, physically, I only get aroused when there is a chance I could get pregnant. And it’s terribly wrong because my boyfriend doesn’t want an other child yet and I’m on birth control. So basically I just never feel like having sex, the thought is almost grossing me out. But if we decided to remove my birth control, I know for sure I would want to jump his bones, and not just to make a baby, but because sex will then be so much hotter.

It started with my previous pregnancy, while pregnant the thought of having sex legit made me want to throw up. When I gave birth it all came back, but then I got on birth control and my sex drive is gone again...

I’m not even sure I want an other baby now, I just don’t understand why my body is grossed out right now, it’s really not against my boyfriend, I’m not interested in sex with anyone else either, it’s just the thought of maybe getting pregnant is so arousing and it feels like nothing else is.

Has anyone ever experienced this? Is there someone I can talk to about this? I don’t want to talk about it with my boyfriend, he’s not ready for an other baby and I don’t want him to feel pressured because of this. I just want to be fixed and to be normal and have sex whenever.