So I have had both an abortion (very early- I found out at 4 weeks like usual and had the abortion at 6 weeks. I knew I had to decide what to do soon because I would not do it any other way than the pill.) and given a child up for adoption.

I also have a child (my first)

I have tried to keep the abortion and adoption private. But some nasty, nasty people in my life threw me under the bus and people found out about the abortion.

I was judged SO harshly. The reason I had the abortion was because I was in an extremely abusive relationship. He literally tried to kill me (at 5 weeks pregnant) and proceeded to stalk me afterwards. He had a literal man hunt out on him because he ran and they said he was not gonna stop until 1 of 2 things happened and that’s he either got me and killed me, or he was arrested. They tracked his phone and caught him on my road 36 hours late that’s how insane he was. He has been in prison for a while now and still has about 10 years left. I couldn’t imagine having or carrying his baby. I was also obviously not in my right mind. Also, his family and friends were just as insane as he was. They all said it was my fault, etc. they made life hell for me even after he was put away. They ran me out of the town I grew up in after dragging my name threw the dirt.

I have been called baby killer, told it’s not the babies fault his dad is like that, called weak, called sorry pos for keeping my 1st born and aborting this pregnancy, told I need to die, etc

The adoption was much more smooth. I got pregnant by a one night stand, on birth control. The dad and I agreed adoption was the best route. It was hard to carry a child and go threw all the pains of pregnancy and my body changing etc to not even leave the hospital with the baby but in the end it was the absolute best decision. I get updates and pics of him to this day and I love him regardless of what is said.

It was obviously harder to hide this because I still had a life to live and had to leave the house so everyone (work, school,etc) noticed I was pregnant / then not pregnant and no baby around. So I was just honest. And I still got back lash. These from “good Christian “ people . Saying stuff behind my back about how I “threw my baby out like a piece of trash” “people treat /love dogs more than she cared about that baby” etc and again “how could she have her 1st kid but throw this one away”

It’s all really been hurting my heart lately. How are people so mean? And how can someone sit there and say “abortion is wrong go to hell if you have an abortion you should have gave it up for adoption” but then you do have an adoption and they say you threw the baby away and you’re a piece of shit for that too