How long did it take for your husband to get on board with trying to get pregnant?

Question

I’ve wanted to be a mom my entire life, but my husband is less excited about the reality of kids. We both want them, but he sees it as a down the line event.

We’re both 27, together 3 years, married for 14 months.

I have PCOS, and my mom miscarried multiple times, so I want us to have time to consider <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>/adoption/etc if we need to.

I’ve seen my OBGYN, started taking prenatals, tracking my cycles, and working on my heath to prepare to try and have kids. He still acts like it’s not really real and that there’s all the time in the world.

Are most men like this before kids? Do they get on board when they’re ready? When you get pregnant? When the baby is born?

Answer

Firstly, have a conversation about biology. Men aren’t taught how women’s bodies work (heck, women aren’t taught how women’s bodies work). Make sure you both know about fertility rates vs age, times of month you need to have sex to catch ovulation, etc. 
Secondly, have a conversation about emotion. Is he ready to get pregnant but just isn’t in a rush? Is he nervous about it? If there’s something holding him back, explore it. If there’s something that is making you feel rushed, explore it. If you’re not on the same page, figure out what will get you on the same page. Does he have a bucket list he wants to accomplish before having a kid? Does he want to have more money saved? Does he not know what it will be like? It shouldn’t be about convincing him but deciding together what is going to work for your family!

Answer

My husband wanted kids before me. He knew he had fertility issues that he told me about when we first got together and he’s a lot older than me so he was ready to start a family. We found a happy medium so that I was ready to try when I felt personally ready but sooner than I had originally wanted too. In the end it worked out for the both of us. For me though, I did take his age into consideration. I knew the longer we waited the harder it would have been for him to keep up with young children. He started taking men’s vitamins while I was on deployment and as soon as I got back I fell pregnant and now here we are with two kiddos and one on the way.

Answer

For us, we both wanted kids. I explained that there was a window and that it might not happen right away. With that info, he was on board to start trying right after we got married (at 33 years old). Took us a year and ivf, so I’m glad we didn’t wait!

Answer

I started wanting a child when my sister in law had her child 4 yrs ago. My husband didnt get on board until a year after his heart and kidney transplant which was 3 yrs ago. We knew we might have difficulties because of all the medication he takes. I wanted him to get a seman analysis done before we started trying but it didnt happen until cycle 8 of trying. 
Its def better that I didnt push him until he was ready. He would have felt much more resentment and wouldnt have been in the right place mentally to help comfort me when cycles fail. Not to mention hindsight is 20/20 and if we had gotten pregnant when I wanted, then I would have had an infant when he had his heart attack and was in the hospital for months waiting for transplants. We knew he would need the transplants too and as much as I desperately want a child now, I am so grateful I didnt have one when that was going on. It was the lowest point in my life and i could barely take care of myself let alone a child. 
Sorry, i went off track. Just make sure he understands it can take years when you do start trying but ultimately you cant make him change his mind any faster.

Answer

I waited until hubby was on board. But to help with it. We sat down and made a “pre baby checklist” and added things he wanted to do or achieve or see before kids. Then we focused on that list for 3 years and then started trying. I love how he is with our daughter and glad I waited til he was ready so he is excited to help raise her

How long did it take for your husband to get on board with trying to get pregnant?

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