Insecure - a relationship rant.

It might just be me, but I’m feeling so insecure in my relationship right now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let’s go back to Christmas Day, my spouse and I got into an argument and he basically told me he missed his single life and that I should go back to the USA (my home country, I moved to his country to be with him 6years ago). He claims though that he only said that because “he thought I’d be happier in America... and that he didn’t mean that I should go back with just our child, but all three of us?” 🤨 yeah, okay then... and “what I meant by single life was ....... life before we had a kid!” 🤨🤨🤨 he blames it one English not being his mother tongue... but yet he’s studied it extensively and speaks in a flawless British accent and has studied abroad most of his student life... 🙎🏻‍♀️

Anyways, before I was in the picture he was kind of dealing with another chick (she was Russian). Like, he was hoping to marry her before he had met me. (But according to him, that’s just because he didn’t want to end up alone and she ticked all of what he was looking for physically in a woman.)

Anyways, after our fight on Christmas he told me some of the things we had around the house were actually given to him by her and he didn’t say anything because he thought it might make me mad? 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk why I’d be mad over such a small thing, but I am a bit bugged he didn’t tell me the truth of where they came from. He had other stories for the items....

But then he starts speaking Russian to our child (the small amount he knows). But whenever I’m around (which I think is the only time he speaks Russian to our baby) he quickly says, “oh! Better be careful! Mommy might get mad!” Or he’ll say things like, “you could have been a little Russian baby” or “you were almost a little Russian baby.”

So then he tells me this chick added him on Facebook, but he hasn’t approved her YET.

But then he quickly follows it with “don’t worry babe, I’m loyal!” “You’ve got nothing to worry about!” Etc etc.

And it’s like, “I wasn’t worried until you told me not to worry...” then what he keeps saying and doing keeps rushing back to my mind. Idk... maybe I’m just being insecure, but damn. Ya be throwing this other chick in my face all of the time when I can’t even get a peck out of you. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️