Life is getting too stressful

Ugh I’m in such a bad mood today. I feel so irritable and annoyed. It’s sucks because it’s family day and that’s supposed to be a fun day. I’m home by myself with my 7 month old and my 8 year old, I wish my boyfriend was home but he’s never home. Whether he’s working or training at the gym he’s just never home. It’s gotten to the point where our 7 month old cries whenever he holds her. My 8 year old won’t stop nagging me to play games on my phone.

My utilities bill is over due and they’re threatening to cut my utilities, phone bill is the same way, we’re out of groceries and I have zero $. My boyfriend has a kick boxing fight coming up and I can’t afford to buy a ticket to it, my house is a disaster and nobody helps out, the recycling hasn’t been taken out in 2 months. That was my boyfriends job since I always have the baby but rather than helping out he just stares at his phone 24/7. I just feel so annoyed and unhappy today. I’m super stressed about money, stressed about having a messy house, exhausted because I don’t get a single minute of me time ever, stressed because my boyfriend is always on my case about working out but I can’t workout because again I get zero me time. I don’t want to say I hate my life because I don’t, I love my kids and my family but I hate how things are going for me right now. I hate being so extremely financially unstable, I hate that my boyfriend spends more time at the gym and on his phone that he spends with us, I hate that I have zero help when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and parenting, and I hate that I’m gaining weight and can’t afford to even eat healthy.

Sorry for the rant. I’m just feeling like complete crap today.