I am at a complete and total loss right now. I have a GREAT job. Great benefits, great people, and *gasp* great bosses. I am going back to work in two days after being on maternity leave for for the past 11 weeks. I now have two beautiful little girls who are my whole world. I am struggling so bad with the the fact that I’m going back to work. If I had it my way I’d be a SAHM but my husband won’t entertain the idea. He says that we can’t afford it however I’ve seen people do it making less than he does. I have said that I will sell my new car and get something much cheaper. Every time I think about going back to work I get physically sick feeling and my chest starts to hurt and feel tight. I am at a point right now where if I’d take control and just stop working my husband would probably leave me but I am sacrificing my happiness and my mental health. I don’t know what to do. He says if I’d stop working and we divorce I’d have to go back to work anyways to support my self and he’s not wrong. I use feel so stuck. I suffer from depression and a panic disorder. My MIL watches our kids and she’s even made it pretty clear to me that she would prefer I stay home too. She has a some medical problem and she’s the primary care giver for my SIL who has a lot of medical problems. I just don’t know what to do. 😭😭