I’m 29 weeks and I just started maternity leave 5 days ago.

I’m bored and feeling lazy and useless. I was used to working 6 days a week, 9-10 hour shifts and being the main breadwinner.

At the moment my insomnia has been playing up, I’ve had it since before pregnancy but I now also have a very aggressive dental abscess which has been radiating pain down my jaw into my neck and this has been giving me headaches also. I’ve literally been pacing the bathroom in the wee hours, swearing cause of the pain!

I’ve had dental treatment and am waiting for the antibiotics to kick in before I go back for a check up next week. I don’t remember the last time I had a full or restful nights sleep. I’ve been trying to rest and not do too much despite feeling useless as I’m so tired, in pain and I’m also getting breathless easily - I’ve been sorting through all our stuff and getting our son’s things ready to try and occupy my time.

I’ve finished converting our living room into our bedroom/ nursery and plan to throw out our old bed and change our bedroom into the living room, clean out the bathroom and go through and de-clutter and clean the whole kitchen too. I guess I’m nesting? I just feel like we have so much unnecessary clutter and his idea of clean and mine are very different.

Today is the first day my husband has been off work since I went on leave (I know it’s only been 5 days but feels like longer to me and I’ve been feeling lonely - probably pregnancy hormones).

He normally gets up 7am as he’s got a normal 9-5 job and I get up around 1pm as I run closing shifts until midnight at my place. I don’t tend to see him until after work or if we have a day off at the same time.

I leaned over and put my arm over him when I woke up and I leaned on the blanket by accident. I wasn’t actually on him and neither was my bump, but I guess it pressed down on him. His reply was “omg you’re so heavy! You’re like an elephant!” ... ... ... all I wanted was a hug! I was happy he was there and I wasn’t waking up alone.

I know it’s an overreaction but I just turned back over and started to cry. I know it’s probably hormones but I don’t have a social life due to my work life - kind of lost touch with my friends and the only real social interaction I have is with the guys at work due to the hours I do. I don’t have anyone I can talk to. My son seems to know when I am upset and starts wriggling and kicking more. He was kicking when I was crying so I guess he is trying to comfort me - “I’m here mama!” - probably just trying to make myself feel better.

He’s gone back to sleep now... I just wanted to vent how I’m feeling before I get up and start sorting through more stuff.

I was also picked on as a child for my weight and had gastric surgery at 22 which literally nearly killed me due to post-op complications. I was 25 stone and have lost over 13 stone since then. I am sensitive about my weight because of this despite no longer being classed as overweight, BMI and stuff - but it still hurts