Long story short for anyone that will listen.

I met a man when I was 18, he was 26. He was everything I dreamt of. He was polite, he cared, he was romantic, everything. Would bring me flowers at random and do what he could to make me smile.

Our whirlwind of a romance spun us into getting married within the year, me being 19 and him being 27. He still did little gestures the first year, even during the tough times.

I’m now 23. We just bought our first home. And you would think that things would be great.. but I feel like my marriage is falling apart.

He gets jealous over me talking to men. He doesn’t do things to show that he cares anymore. He doesn’t take initiative to help me like he used to. He gets upset that I’ve become cold sexually, but I feel like there’s no intimacy to be had.. I don’t feel like he loves me anymore.

I’ve broken down twice now to him, explaining that I’m fearing that we’re falling out of love. That we’re becoming roommates. That we’re just complacent. And he says we’re just growing older.

And while I don’t expect the honeymoon phase to last forever, I miss feeling wanted. It’s like he got what he wanted and stopped trying. I feel too young to feel so alone in my marriage of now 4 years. Where will I be in the next year? Or 5? Will I have to endure this loveless marriage out of the sake of the fear of leaving? Out of the sake of failing? And if I leave, what if it’s a mistake? And how hard it will be with having to sell the house that we just bought, who will take the pet? Who will pay the court fees? He makes $5/hour more than me, he would be perfectly fine without me.

I’m just so lost and alone. He lies next to me snoring not knowing I’m falling apart at the seams. I just thought he would never stop showing me that he loved me. I feel more like a roommate that shares the same bed.

I don’t even know where to go from here. I just needed to let this out. I feel so alone.

**2/25 Update**

Well guys, I took the plunge. I filed for divorce. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I was scared of what would come next... but a few days later and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while. He admitted in texts that he was emotionally abusive and how he was doing that, that he doesn’t deserve another chance, etc. Please keep me in your thoughts and send positive vibes my direction. I’ll need it.