Just need some advice?

My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I dont have sex very often, but when we do he gets discouraged and upset. His dick has a curve to thats drastic enough to make sex hard and often we need to do positions where he can hold it straight and usually that works out fine. But when we try missionary he doesn't really have the ability to hold it . I'm not comfortable in this position, as I've told him, and the weight of his body makes it hard for me to relax my muscles so I tense up and with that cant spread much. (Btw if I sound like an ignorant fool its bc we are each others firsts and he was my first after I had been through sexual abuse so I'm not exactly educated, but I'm not against sex I clearly want to have it) . I try to tell him doggy will work fine , but hes insecure and thinks that if he cant do sex the "normal" way then hes "not a real man" and a "failure". It disheartens me that hes so hard on himself . I really only think hes focused on the fucking and not me. I am not saying he doesn't love me, I just KNOW that he views sex as a big deal and that goes into some personal stuff for him, but he clearly is in his head thinking like "ok in missionary how am I gonna get this in bc holding it isnt possible" ? Rather than "ok this is great and all happening naturally". I wish he would listen and just DO doggy or anything else fun. We did missionary before that's how we lost it, and at this point idek how we managed!