My toddler annoys me *confession*
I've been a stay at home for 3 years now and I'm beginning to really hate it. I'm constantly seeing people talk about how easy stay at homes mom have it and that's far from the case. Also those people are fucking idiots. Anyway. My 3 year old is driving me crazy. I lock myself in my room or bathroom at least once a day because his constant tantrums, whining, screaming and or crying is too much to be around. I also have a 6 month old and I have my hands pretty full trying to care for both. My s.o works full time and when he gets home he gives me at least 2 hours of down time but that's not everyday. My toddler is constantly hitting the baby and I find myself yelling at least 90% of the day. Today I felt like making breakfast and sitting at the table with both boys to eat. Well, that was a terrible idea. It ended up with my toddler throwing a fit because he wanted me to stop feeding myself and my 6 month old to carry him at the table. I continued to feed my son while he screamed into my ear. My s.o saw my face before he left to work and asked what was wrong. I started bawling. I told him I can't handle him anymore and I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel the stress is making me physically sick. I just feel like I'm failing because I can't control my son. I cry almost everyday now. I can't work because child care is so ridiculously expensive and I don't trust day care workers with all the horror stories I read. I do hope to go back to work at least part time in another 6 months. Being a stay at home is draining and emotionally exhausting. I don't know if he's just in a terrible phase or it's something else is wrong. I keep waiting for this awful behavior to stop. I feel like I need help and I can't do it alone anymore. All I hear from my mom is "think about having more kids before you do". Like that helps in any kind of way. I just feel awful feeling like I can't stand being around my own child. Please tell me I'm not alone.
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