I'm having a weird sexuality crisis...
I apologise for this being so crazy long and rambling.
So I'm 23 and going through a second sexuality crisis. Didn't even know that could happen. Since a fairly young age I was aware that I find all genders attractive. I usually just say I'm bi sexual because no label ever really feels accurate. I've been in 3 real relationships in my life. All with men. The first, very short. Terrible sex, terrible guy. The second 5 years, the most amazing man, great sex, but I was never physically attracted to him, and we realized that our love for each other wasn't romantic. We brought my best friend into bed(bad idea, I know) because we realized that we both wanted to be with her and just making out with her was better than any sex I'd ever had. Never happened again, and it finally ended my dead relationship. I lost all interest in being with him, when I realized just how much more I liked this girl I'd only known for a few months than I did the man I'd been with for years. That was two years ago.
Now I was sleeping with this guy for a couple months. I was fairly attracted to him, he was cute, he smelled amazing, and the sex was great(again, as far as sex with a man goes). He asked me out two months ago, and I said yes. Almost immediately things changed. I didn't want to sleep with him really, I started getting uncomfortable around him, him showing romantic affection makes me feel weird. I just don't like being in a relationship with him.
I've never liked being in a relationship with a man. I don't really care for the male body, especially in comparison to how I feel about the female body. Men generally aggravate me. But I enjoy sex with men.
My hang up is this. I've never dated a women, but I know I want to. I'm not opposed to sex with men and I generally enjoy it, but the one small experience I've had with a woman completely overshadows any experience with a man.
I thought at first that maybe I could be sexually attracted to both men and women, but only romantically like women... Is that a thing? But honestly as I'm typing this out and looking back on the experience with that girl (who I hung out with for the first time in months just yesterday and realized I'm totally not over her, just want I needed rn) I'm wondering if it's possible that I'm a lesbian. Like... That happens right? Women go through life thinking they're having great sex then somehow realize that everything is so much better with women and they're gay. Or is that just a thing in stupid romance books? I feel like an idiot and I really honestly don't know what to do.