so I’m 17 and a virgin and it’s not anything I’m embarrassed about bc you should loose your virginity when your ready. But my boyfriend is making me second guess myself so please tell me if I’m being ‘paranoid or not’

so the first time he asked me if we could have sex my straight up response was no you could definitely tell but his face he wasn’t pleased, but he didn’t say anything about it.

The second time was a week later and I still told him no but this time he asked why and I told him I was nervous and I’ve never been touched by anyone else down there and I’m not ready he just nodded, I was glad he was respecting me.

one night he came over with a grocery bag I didn’t know what was it in then (but turns out it was condoms) and we both watched a movie in bed and then eventually we were just holding each other my back pressed into his chest, then I notice his hand moving downwards and then he started groping my ass I shifted away from him but his just pulled me closer so I told him to stop and he told me the only way to get ready for sex was to play around and ‘figure out what you like’ I didn’t say anything and just let him touch me than he brought his hands to my clit and started rubbing me I also tried to get away but he wouldn’t let me. He started speeding up until I was at a point where it was feeling good but I didn’t want it to feel good bc my mind was telling me it was wrong but my body loved it. eventually he noticed me reaching my high and told me if I was going to cum I would have to have sex with him the next time he comes over, my first thought was no but you can’t rly help it when you have someone rubbing against your pulsing clit he kept speeding up and eventually I came and it was rly embarrassing and then he told me he can’t wait for next Time.

so now every time he asks to come over I always find a different excuse to why he can’t.

when i saw him at school I told him I wasn’t ready and he told me to bad bc he can’t wait anymore. Now I’m rly stressed bc he told me he’s coming over Friday night whether I like it or not.