I am 11 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I’m 22 years old. I am still so lost. I found out I was pregnant and obviously this was a shock to me and hard because the father and I aren’t together and weren’t when I found out. He is toxic and awful and blames me for everything he’s put me through. I could go on but I won’t, moral of the story is he is just plain awful. No job, no car, 21 years old. I am mad at myself because I should have known so much better. I deserved better. I work 2 jobs, a mortgage company and a restaurant. I am financially stable for my age I feel. This pregnancy has been extremely hard on me because I didn’t expect my life like this and for my Child to have a father like the one he or she will have if he even sticks around. The father keeps telling me I’m an awful person and I am forcing him to have a child he doesn’t want because I can’t get myself to have an abortion and I am the worst mother ever and he wishes I was dead. I had a appointment scheduled and I couldn’t do it. Am I wrong for not being able to do it? Everyone has told me to get rid of the baby and put their opinions. I know it’s because they care about me but I am lost. I’ve lost so many friends who weren’t my friends clearly if they don’t care to hang out now that I can’t drink. Im just depressed and really trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the day I want what’s best for my baby 😔 prayers and guidance is truly needed and appreciated because I am drained.