I feel awful

I made what feels like biggest mistake on earth. I really messed things up with my sister and although I did make things right with her, I still feel awful. My sister is home rn and being by her is soooo painful rn. I can’t even handle this anymore I can’t even handle myself I am so hurt by the fact that I could be such a b*tch to people and I HATE myself for that. Please no hate or harsh comments, I already feel battered and broken and like the worst human in the galaxy.