Should i be mad or not?

Question

So husband and i have a 7 week old. Currently im not working. Go back in 3 weeks. But in the meantime i have been the one waking up at night with the baby. I get her bottles ready at night, wash them, change her, and get her ready for bed. He doesnt because he is tired from work, he just gets ready for bed and thats it. He wakes up anywhere between 4am-6am to go to work and lately its been 4am..and when he gets home he just wants to relax and sleep but i also want a break to myself. Should i mention something to him? That i would like more help? Or let it be since he is working and im at home with the baby. How did you ladies go about saying anything to ur significant other?

Answer

I remember having a talk with my husband before I went back to work. I told him that once I go back to work we are going to have to split all other responsibilities more equally. He totally understood (although probably wouldn’t have thought about it on his own) and we talked about some of the way we could do that (like I’ll take care of this, you take care of that, etc). 
You’ll figure out a rhythm that works for all of you.

Answer

Don’t assume he knows how your feeling, because if u haven’t actually told him then odds are he has no clue. He just sees you handling it and taking care of the baby so he relaxes. You have to tell him in an adult way before you get so fed up that u blow up on him and it becomes an argument that could be avoided. He doesn’t know how u feel if u don’t tell him. If he still doesn’t help, then yes I would be mad.

Answer

Sooo, unless you want him to keep expecting you to maintain this, you need to bring it up. Wait until you aren’t overly emotional about it and don’t make it confrontational. Use a lot of “I” statements, even “we” statements. Discuss a fair division of duties; both baby and house. Otherwise, you returning to work is going to be an absolute nightmare.

Answer

Some men are something fucking else🤦‍♀️ all they do is work, sleep and rest. You work a lot, you are exhausted, sleep deprived, no rest, nothing. He is a fucking moron, don’t let him! Involve him, tell him what to do and when! Who the bell is gonna get up when you work full time too? This isn’t going to end well if he doesn’t understand he must do his part too. It’s not about help, it’s his child too. He is not a step father or an uncle to help. I have involved my husband straightaway, he was working nights and long hours but not once he’s said he’s tired from work and that he can’t get up. I wouldn’t put up with that shit. They make kids but that’s all they can do!

Answer

Say something. It's his baby too. He should be helping. What is he going to do when you go back to work? Continue to not help cause you "know it better". Train this out of him now

Answer

Some men are just clueless! I should know. My husband is one of then. We had an open conversation. I continuously tell him I’m exhausted and need him to pick up some slack on a weekly basis. Am I sick of having to tell him all the time? Hell yes! But it’s getting better as many tasks are now becoming habits. 
In the early days, I constantly needed to tell him to get bath ready for our son but now at almost 5 months, he’s getting better at reading our son’s tired cues and it’s becoming a routine, not only for our son but for him too. 
He works Mondays to Fridays so on weekends I ask him to wake up with son and play with him and only wake me up when son is hungry (I breastfeeding). 
We’ve agreed what he needs to do and I tell him when I need him to do more.

Answer

You know you’re relationship better then anyone on here. Do you and your husband have open communication? If so, then yes, sit him down and calmly explain to him how you feel. Let him know you love him and appreciate him going to work to provide for you and baby, but you feel that he isn’t helping out and sharing the responsibilities caring for the baby when he is home.

Should i be mad or not?

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