Acne (nobody understands)

Just canceled another plan. I was about to go with my friends to the library to do some studying until I saw myself in the mirror. Once again acne stops me from living my life. And nobody understands me. I have a big party to go to on Friday, probably not going there either.

I’ve been having this problem since 12. Now I am 18 going to 19, and I am still having breakdowns about my acne. And it really hurts when you don’t have any support. My parents have seen me many times worrying, crying or being aggressive about this. I’ve talked to them many times about how I feel, and that I need help. They insisted that it was like that because i picked on it. They believed that I only care about beauty and less about my studies. They thought that spending money on treatments would be a waste and they just told me to stop caring so much so they just left me there until it got worse with time. And I’m here now, crying writing a post hoping to get some help from strangers.

Yesterday I got so desperate, that I spent $140 on products that I hope will work (but I’ve tried so many things that it’s nearly impossible)

My skin is not as bad as some people’s. But it affects me. It not only is painful sometimes moving my face, but it also makes me less sociable and very uncomfortable in public. It leaves super dark pigmentation and makes my skin tone so uneven. I feel so ugly.

You’ll tell me this is nothing. But trust me, what I see in the mirror is 10 times worse than what these pics show.

Covering it makes it worse. It makes the redness appear as brown and the pigmentation grey and patchy. Not to mention that the pimples make weird shadows and are more clarified.

I want a normal life. I want to wake up and get out with my bare skin. I don’t want to worry about what I eat. I want to eat. I want my hair tied up in a bun without worrying that my skin is exposed. I want to look natural in pictures. I want to look natural in real life. I want to be calmer and smile more. But I fill like this will never happen.

This is how it looked yesterday: