Can I be kept away from my boyfriends child?

Question

EDIT: I feel like there has been a little bit of a misunderstanding about this as I wrote this kinda fast and left out A LOT of details, but I have known this guy for 3 years. His ex always cheated on him, so he was the one that made the choice to leave when he found her and his “best friend” in a room together, it wasn’t until a little bit after a split she found out she was pregnant. My daughter is 2, by a different man. I have met this girl multiple times, we were fine. I was just simply asking if it was LEGALLY okay for her to tell him who he can and can’t have his kid around since they are 50/50 through the court. I respect her parenting choices, i really do. But she has stated multiple times that I’ll never be allowed around the child when I have never done anything wrong by her and have always been nice and have had multiple chats with her about it. It always seems to just go back to square one. I apologize if I came off in any other way. 
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now. Him & his ex have a 9 month old baby together, and I completely understand where she is coming from when it comes to the whole “I want to know who my kid is around, I want to make sure he is in a safe environment” thing because I have a daughter myself and I feel the same way. I have talked to her on that and we both seemed to mutually agree on how we felt about it, but for some reason the girl does not like me AT ALL. She is constantly putting me down whether it’s to my boyfriend or side comments on social media, she has went off because she thought my child was wearing their child’s clothing in a picture I had posted and she texted my boyfriend saying “that’s really disrespectful to me if you are letting her kid wear our child’s clothes. What is for our kid is for OUR kid, no one elses”. I ignore her, I’m nice when I talk to her because I don’t want any problems, I just don’t know what else to do. She told my boyfriend she didn’t have a problem with me and that she is glad we are together and she knows I won’t hurt her child, but she doesn’t want me around their child at all. She threatens to call the police to come pick him up if she even suspects I’m around. I don’t want to disrespect her and make her feel like I don’t value how she feels when it comes to her parenting, because I want her to know she can trust me to listen to her, but they have 50/50 custody. Their child is strictly half hers, half his. Is she allowed to do this? She’s saying she’ll take him to court if she has to to keep me away until I can come around on HER terms. My boyfriend tells her he’s fine with whoever she brings around him as long as his child is being treated good and that her time is her time, but she even blows him up constantly when he has him and if he doesn’t respond within a 5-10 minute time frame, the cops are threatened again and they’re arguing. I just know this is a fragile situation and I don’t know what to do. It’s making it hard because he gets him every other week and I just want to be able to spend time with him and our two babies. 😞

Answer

No she legally can’t dictate who is around on his time. As long as you aren’t like a registered sex offender she’s got no reason to try. Don’t respond to her and let her call cops on his time. They aren’t responding to the fact she doesn’t like his gf and if she makes a false complaint in order to get them to respond she’ll get herself in trouble. Let her.

Answer

Legally she will lose this fight, the only way the court will side with her is if she can prove you are a danger to her child. Unfortunately part of not being with your child’s father is you don’t get to decide who they date and therefore who hangs out with your child. She had no legal standing and can get over herself.

Answer

she’s being bitter cause she still wants him trust me 🙄 my brothers baby momma is like this and it’s gotten so old we’re all sick of dealing with her she used to be my friend and we all loved her now we just tolerate her dumb ass to see the kids and i don’t want my baby dad no more and idgaf who he dates as long as he isn’t bringing tons of girls in and out of their lives and they are nice to my babies period that’s it she wrong for sure unless there’s more that hasn’t been told but sounds just like my brothers situation to me and my baby daddy’s situation with his other baby momma

Answer

When my ex boyfriend and I split up, our temporary court ordered custody agreement forbid either of us from having romantic partners around our child. My ex was extremely vindictive and I had a boyfriend at the time so he was specifically named in the order. The judge was willing to specifically name someone for my ex, but he was single so there wasn’t anyone to  name, it just said “romantic partner” on his portion of it. 
When we went to court for our final custody agreement, it changed to “no romantic partners around the child from the hours of 9pm-7am.”
So yes. It’s absolutely possible to legally keep someone away from a child. And if it is outlined in the court order, and the parent does not follow the orders, the judge will find them in contempt of court. It’s a big deal.

Answer

I think she’s a jealous bitch and so is anyone that agrees with her. 
It’s SO CHILDISH to act like this. Does his daughter like you? As long as you aren’t forcing her to call you mommy that woman doesn’t have anything to complain about. If she called the police they’d laugh in her face. This is petty and pathetic.

Answer

I don’t know the legalities of it to be honest, but he’s his child just as much as hers. And maybe he should be the same way toward her and her boyfriend? I think she’s just being difficult. I don’t know how long you’ve been dating, that would make a difference, but it sounds like you e talked to her on multiple occasions. Plus, what are HER terms? If they have 50/50 custody, I feel like when he’s with him he’s his. This isn’t visitation and her having full custody. It’s worth looking into.

Answer

You absolutely can be legally kept from the child. Ask him what the custody agreement explicitly says about romantic partners. It’s very common for them to say something along the lines of “the child may not spend the night in the same home as the fathers romantic partner” or mother, or whomever. It can even name names. If the court order doesn’t say anything about it, then there’s nothing she can do, but I’d check and be certain before you test the waters. I think he could lose custody if he wasn’t abiding by the court order/custody agreement. 
I hope I articulated that okay, I’m dead tired and need to get off my phone 😂
Good luck! It really doesn’t sound like she should have any reason to keep you from her son.

Answer

I am pretty sure there has to be some agreement during mediation or rules in the custody agreement. He should know the rules from the custody agreement, ask him. Other than that no judge is going to let anyone control another person life like that. It has to be agreed upon by the mom and dad.

Answer

Unless there is a major concern for baby’s safety regarding you, then no. She can not control what her ex does during his time or who is around unless it’s illegal or a safety concern. Do they have a court ordered custody schedule? If not, he needs to take her to court. She can refuse him access to baby otherwise.

Answer

Honestly it’s a sensitive situation. She has a baby. There are likely still hormones and alllllll the mama bear instincts are full force. It’s biological. It’s not being bitter, it’s being a mom! We are wired to protect our little ones, especially when they are young and so vulnerable. I’d just respect it and work on building a relationship with her so she knows she can trust you. If they have a 9m old you all could’ve only been together for just over a year if they broke up at the beginning.
I’m not sure they can really order you away from the child unless you were to harm or endanger the child in some way, so it would benefit her to befriend you but some done work that way. I’m slightly jealous because this is what I wanted before my son met my ex’s new gf ESPECIALLY the things he was telling me early on when he broke up with her trying to mend things with me as I was newly postpartum I shut it down and he went back to her and they both disrespected it. Then she tried to reach out to me way later and it’s honestly really hard to swallow the mass amount of hurt mostly for my son because I know this girls time is running out and he’s likely going to bond with her in some way.

Can I be kept away from my boyfriends child?

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