Can anyone relate?

Question

My boyfriend and I are both Christians and have been together for two and half years (almost) and we have had sex before, but we hit a point in our relationship where we decided it would be better for our relationship with God and or romantic relationship to wait until we decide to get married.
I was wondering if anyone else has had an experience with this? If so how has it been for you?
My boyfriend and I are not ready to be married because we are both still in college and working towards our careers... but marriage is the end goal!😊

Answer

Hey! My boyfriend and I are both Christians, too. While we haven’t had sex, we’ve been back and forth about it a lot over our relationship (almost two years). What I found to be most helpful for us was literally just sitting and talking about it, crying about it, seeing what we each felt and wanted and thought God was leading us to do. We’ve done this multiple times. Also, we would each individually pray about it and even pray about it together. I’ve talked to some friends and even my therapist about it, as well. This stuff is SO hard, and I feel like the church sometimes makes it seem like it shouldn’t be that hard if you’re really a  Christian, but this stuff is so so difficult, especially when you really love someone. I’m not sure if it’ll help you guys out at all, but my therapist told me something that’s really made me feel better about it: God gave us free will for a reason. Part of that is setting boundaries when it comes to sex. My boyfriend and I (through that intensive discussion) have decided that oral sex, individually touching, and simultaneous touching each other (ie fingering and handjobs) are within our boundaries. We both feel that God isn’t telling us that those aspects are off limits, so we’re willing to go that far.
Also, are you talking to God about this? One thing that really helps me out is constantly bringing these hard, heavy things to God and telling Him that I need His advice. I try to stay very open to whatever He’s telling me, so I still often monitor how I’m actually feeling inside my heart when my boyfriend and I make love, and if I start to feel icky, we back off or stop entirely for a while. If I don’t feel that God is telling me it’s bad, we keep on doing what we’re doing. Keep constant, open communication with both your man and God!!
I’m not sure if this long rant helped at all, but please feel free to reach out if you want to talk more about it or even if you need someone to vent to. I’ll be praying for you, friend! ❤️

Answer

If that is something you’re both committed to, make sure you’re very clear on your boundaries. Is oral sex ok? Mutual masturbation? Etc.

Can anyone relate?

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