The main reason I’m done having babies...

I just want to cry so I have to vent. Women’s Health care sucks. I’m just being honest. If you have an ob or midwife you listens to you and have had great experiences through your pregnancy and childbirth then I am so happy for you because I wish what I have gone through in my first pregnancy and now my second (and last) pregnancy is awful. I also went through a d&c and endometriosis removal with them and I’m still mentally drained and psychically not right from both of those procedures.

In my area there is only two groups close to me. The closer one I went to for the duration of my sons pregnancy and it was traumatic. First they kept telling me I wasn’t pregnant and try to give me pills to start my period. I was pregnant I had several positive home tests. Thank god I fought them or I wouldn’t have my son. They kept changing my due date for no reason. I had sex with my husband once when he was home from work. I know when I conceived, problem is that this group has 7 doctors and 7 midwives. My first doctor gave me an accurate due date then the next changed it...by three weeks. I started bleeding early and was put on bed rest because thanks to their due date change my baby would die if I was going into labor. I sat in bed for a long time. I was severely iron deficient, had blood test confirm it and not one person in that office acknowledged it until I blacked out in their office. I had to start iron infusions and do them until I delivered, I was so iron deficient by that point my body could barely catch up. By time I was 32 weeks based on the new calculation I started to dilate, they told me they would take my baby and air lift him and only him to the child’s hospital if I delivered him. At 34 weeks I had to go in again because of regular contractions and they kept me there for days until I begged to go home they threatened me if I didn’t sign an agreement to receive unnecessary steroid shots and come back for them when I was supposed to that I would be in trouble. As a young new mom I did it. By 36 their calculation, I went to the office FIVE times because my contractions were so bad I knew I was in labor and I was leaking fluid. They sent me home every time and told me there was no way I was in active labor. After my last appointment that day I went home frustrated and in pain. Two hours later my water broke everywhere. They STILL didn’t believe I was in labor and made me wait in a back room to confirm it because “maybe I just peed myself”. I was SIX cm dilated. It was 8:45pm when I checked into the hospital and 12:59am when I delivered that baby. At 8cm they yelled at me I better get an epidural and that I was ridiculous if I didn’t. I was doing fine and talking nicely with my family I think the room. I didn’t need an epidural, I had two more cm and I could have been done. But no they did it. They did it while the baby descended and Fucked it up so bad my husband mother and grandma watch my spinal fluid leak out of my back. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t go to the bathroom, I couldn’t feed my baby. The head ache was like nothing I’d never had in my life and I’m a severe migraine sufferer. I had to lay flat in a hospital bed. The anesthesia refused to see me. He left the epidural hooked up to my back for 3 days and made the nurses try push narcotics on me because “you are fine”. My aunt and sister who are nurses, one of which being an ob nurse noticed the spinal leak right away. I begged my nurses again to have them check. They told me if I was really in pain I would have had so many visitors. I had so many visitors because I couldn’t take care of my baby. I couldn’t even walk or sit up. They kicked my mom out of the room and it became an investigation and suddenly a new anesthesiologist came in and looked at my back and in shear shock she said oh my god I can’t believe they left thus in your back I can see your fluid leaking. By this point it was so bad I could move. I had to have two blood patches in my spinal fluid and wasn’t able to do anything but hold my baby for short periods of time for the first 6 weeks of his life.

Then I had gotten pregnant and the baby didn’t make it so I had to have a d&c. They gave me so much medication (i barely take Advil) that when I woke up I was vomiting profusely and couldn’t walk. I went home and suddenly started passing large baseball sized clots. They made me sit at home and told me it was normal. I was bleeding through a super heavy pad in 20 minutes. I finally had my husband bring me to the ER. My entire uterus was filled with clots. I had to wait hours for a doctor to decide if they were going to repeat the d&c or make me take the “abortion” pill to pass the clots. I had to take the pill and it was the worst thing I’ve had to do in my life especially after just having a d&c.

Then I had my endometriosis surgery. I was doing great. Until my fucking vagina prolapsed and these idiots spend 11 hours trying to figure out what the hell was hanging out of me, which included them trying to push it back in. Still

Hurts to have sex sometimes because it wasn’t corrected properly and by time my ob surgeon came in he just sent me home to do “Keegles”.. are we kidding here...

Now here I am with baby number two...we started of really strong. They were on top of things and I wasn’t messing around because they already put me through hell. Well too many doctors and too many different opinions. They let me PASS OUT TWICE before finally sending me to the hematologist. It shouldn’t even have been a fight due to my underlying history of anemia especially during pregnancy that they fail to acknowledge. Finally got to go and start treatments 5 months in to this pregnancy. My heart rate RESTING has been in the 120s-140s. One day my palpitations were so bad I went to the er, where a doctor discovered I had hyperthyroidism. Great. But it took over a month of me begging to get a referral to the endocrinologist. Turns out I have an almost 4cm nodule in my thyroid. Thanks docs, thanks for listing to my symptoms and family history and letting that slip through the cracks again. Because of my last pregnant loss they referred me to their fetal specialist to check this baby for abnormalities. She looked healthy except for a cyst on her brain. They refused to recheck her and the cyst to make sure it had gone away and that was the last straw for me.

Well here I am. I now see a hematologist for my iron, a cardiologist because my blood pressure, palpitations and heart rate, a endocrinologist for my thyroid and as of last week probably a rheumatologist because I had some blood work come back bad. My new ob group is pretty good but some of the, specifically their senior midwife is so fucking rude. I’m heavier this pregnancy but pretty active, I hike, walk and before I was pregnant worked out 5 days a week. Well at my first visit with them I was telling her about how my cardiologist recommended consuming more sodium to try to raise my blood pressure a bit (90/53) and still lying around there. She told me sodium is bacon and bacon is a pig and if you eat took much bacon you will turn into bacon and grow a piggy tail. She CONSTANTLY shits on my weight. No one else does. Not even the maternal fetal medicine doctor. I’m otherwise healthy with the few issues I have going on. The baby is extremely healthy. Give me a fucking break I’ve gain 20 pounds. I’m 33 weeks. Not swollen I drink water like a fish. Which by the way if one more person tells me to drink more water I might punch them in the throat, I drink half my body weight in water EVERYDAY. I’m not dehydrated. I have been shamed by this group for not wanting to breastfeed. She even told me if I did at least I would lose the weight. Bitch I DO NOT WANT TO BREAST FEED BECAUSE ITS MY BODY MY CHOICE. I just gave my body to another being for 9 months I think I’ll take it back and be myself again thank you very much. Fed is best, if you think otherwise you need help. Oh the new office also let me go weeks with a uti until finally I begged them to check and they oh yeah there’s been blood in your urine since January.

Friday I called to let them know my blood pressure was low at my hematology appointment. I wasn’t feeling right and was laying low. Tonight my heart is racing and my chest is heavy, I don’t feel good. I’m cramping. Something is off. I called them and it was my least favorite midwife and she told me 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t understand why you’re taking your blood pressure at home. I DON’T KNOW IRENE MAYBE BECAUSE MY SPECIALIST HAVE ALL ASKED ME TO SINCE ITS SO LOW AND MY HEART RATE IS SO HIGH. She says well I’d hate to send you to the hospital to go get checked if somethings wrong because of the virus. Drink water. Is this real life?

Why don’t obgyns take things more seriously? Why wait until it’s too late. Don’t have a baby in Connecticut guys. Just don’t.

I just want to have this baby and be done. I hate women’s healthcare. If I was a man I feel like they would take me more serious.