Trigger warning- I am done trying

Been trying for 29 months after a loss and now the fertility clinic has cancelled my appointment. They didn't even tell me they cancelled it. I called and they told me. I hate this Covid pandemic!!! I have decided I am done trying. Everything I have for Rainbow Baby is getting burned and torn up so I can find a way to relieve the pain. The letters and infertility journal, clothes and foot inkpad along with the pregnancy announcement. Going to work on acceptance that it just wasn't meant to be. God gave me an answer and the answer was no. I just have to learn to live with it.