My husbands best friend and I flirt with each other... A LOT! We do it in front of my husband and he doesn’t mind because none of it is truly inappropriate. It’s mostly friendly flirting...If that makes any sense. Lol. But there is also a little bit of flirting that my husband has not seen and for the most part I have not told him about. Part of me is starting to question how innocent the flirting is on his friends half.

Last night his friend stayed over at our house. We stayed up late drinking and playing board games. As usual we were flirting with each other the entire night. At one point I got up to get my phone and saw a Snapchat notification from his friend even though we were in the same room as each other. I opened it and it was just “🍆🍆🍆😘” so I didn’t respond.

Eventually my husband left the room and his friend asked if I liked his Snap. I sarcastically said that I loved it. Then my husband walked in and asked what Snap. His friend laughed and said it was a picture of his d*ck. We all just laughed and no one said anything else about it.

Later on he was joking with my husband about sleeping in the bed with us. My husband said no and then I got a Snap from his friend saying “looks like he isn’t going for it sorry about your luck girl”. All I said was “lmao”. Then he said “but he’s still cute tho”. And I said “hell yeah he is”. Then he sent “😍😍😍😍” and I didn’t respond again.

So now I’m starting to question if things aren’t truly so innocent. I really like his friend but I like my husband more. I LOVE my husband. Of course. Do you guys think that I’m just overthinking things or do you think that maybe there are some feelings and/or lust on his side? (Btw he has a girlfriend he’s been with for years.)

PS. One time when we were drinking he was sitting in the floor to my right with his legs stretched out towards me and I was on the couch with my feet in the floor. All night long he was playing footsie with me. At first I didn’t notice until I saw how girlfriend looking at us. I moved my feet away a few times but he’d always put his feet back on top of mine or under mine. I didn’t really mind cause I’m really comfortable with him and I was also drunk but I did end up putting my legs on the couch so his girlfriend didn’t get mad at us. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I did tell my husband about this because the girlfriend saw and then my husband talked to his friend about it and warned him. He claimed to not know/remember we were playing footsie. He was really drunk so maybe he didn’t know. Idk.

Update: Both my husband and I “flirt” with some of our friends. I honestly don’t know how to explain the type of flirting. But it’s not a big deal to my husband or I because we are both comfortable in our relationship. I know he’s mine and he knows I’m his. I’ve always gotten along with men better when it comes to friendship and he’s always had more friends that are women. It’s just our personalities. Typically I sit beside the male friend and my husband sits next to the female friend because that’s who we vibe with best. I haven’t done a single thing that I wouldn’t do in front of my husband. I didn’t tell him about the messages because I didn’t know if I was making a big deal out of nothing. I didn’t come here to be judged by people purely being hateful. I came here for advice on whether or not I need to be careful because the friend has feelings? Or if I’m just overthinking the messages? Simple.

Just because my relationship dynamic is different than yours doesn’t make me trash. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You don’t have to agree with the way our relationship works but you can still say whether or not you think the other guy has actual feelings and offer legitimate advice instead of being hateful. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not trash so thanks.

UPDATE 2: I told my husband about the messages. I told him that I wasn’t intentionally hiding it at first but then I realized that I kept thinking about telling him and was purposefully withholding the information and that felt like lying in my book. I explained that I wasn’t sure what to make of it and figured I needed to let him decide if it was too much. I told him about the messages and then told him that was why I didn’t participate in any of the flirting jokes the next night. My husband said he felt like the messages were a little inappropriate but he isn’t mad at either of us. He wants me to tell him if it happens again so we can let his friend know that messaging me like that is taking it too far. He also thanked me for telling him and for shutting it down instead of reciprocating or continuing the flirting.

I would like to thank everyone that gave me their honest opinions of the situation and took the time to give me actual advice and constructive criticism. You ladies are the exact reason I’m willing to put myself out there like this and sift through these comments. ❤️