Abortion 2 years ago and traumatized


So I mostly use this app to track my period. But this is something thats been bugging me and I kind of just wanted to vent. I had an abortion 2 years ago because of circumstances at the time with the relationship I was in (don’t want to go into details.) It was my first abortion. I was so depressed after and was going to therapy for it that really helped and I’m better now because of it. I know in my heart that I am meant to be a mother. I absolutely love and adore children and would love to have my own one day. But now, I have this fear of having them and I can’t really put my finger on it as to why that is. And I’m afraid that this fear will eventually really stop me from having a child of my own one day. I guess the thought just makes me really sad and I wanted to ask for some support. Does anyone else feel this way after an abortion? If so, how did/do you cope with it?