Imagining my future

I’ve been single about a year. The breakup of my last relationship was very messy and hurtful and I am still recovering from things that happened.

I used to imagine my future (with or without my ex), like what I wanted for my future. Marriage, kids, a house etc.

And now, since being single I just cannot imagine my future.

I can’t see myself having kids or ever finding a partner to settle down with.

It’s not that I don’t think I’ll fall in love again - because I do hope that I will. But I just can’t picture a future without my ex. And I’m still so caught up on the what if’s and the opportunities I let pass.